


After the Storm

by toocleverfox



Category: The Poppy War - R. F. Kuang
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Character Death, Don't worry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, it's not descriptive, sort of??, tbg spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27852510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toocleverfox/pseuds/toocleverfox
Summary: MAJOR THE BURNING GOD SPOILERSNezha goes to find Chaghan after the events of The Burning God.
Relationships: Chaghan Suren/Altan Trengsin, Fang Runin/Yin Nezha
Comments: 19
Kudos: 30





	After the Storm

A year after Nezha killed Rin and Kitay, he slipped into a small tent so far up north that barely anything grew from the frozen ground. 

A man- no, a _boy_ , barely older than Nezha, laid on a small mat on the floor of the tent, his face sunken and his hair white as snow. His breathing was normal, but there was something about him that wasn’t quite right. He looked like he was dying.

Rain drummed against the tent as Nezha sat down at his side, causing the boy to wake and turn his head at the sound. He sat up on his elbows, frowning in the dim light as he tried to piece together who he was looking at.

“Nezha?” he croaked. “Yin Nezha?”

Nezha almost smiled. He’d missed the familiarity of greeting an old companion, even if they’d barely known each other. He did what he could to hold on to that feeling. No one from his younger years was alive anymore. 

“Hello, Chaghan.” 

Chaghan sat up, and Nezha saw just how thin he was. Blankets were piled atop him, no doubt attempting to keep his frail form warm. The blankets slipped from his body as he sat up. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “How did you get past the guards?”

Nezha was surprised his first question wasn’t about Rin. But he’d likely already heard what had happened on Speer and didn’t want to waste time on false hopes. Chaghan knew, without saying it out loud, that Rin was gone.

Nezha shrugged. “It’s always harder to spot intruders when it’s raining.”

Chaghan raised an eyebrow. “Are you here to kill me? Because, trust me, you wouldn’t have to do much. I’m almost there.”

Nezha shook his head and said, “Actually, I was hoping you could kill _me_.” 

“What?” Chaghan frowned. “But you’re-”

“Unable to die?” At Chaghan’s nod, Nezha said, “You’re right, I can’t. But maybe you could fix that.”

“What makes you think I can do anything to help?” Chaghan said, crossing his arms. “If I could have, why wouldn’t I have done it sooner?”

“Because you didn’t have me to show you what to do.”

Chaghan eyed him curiously. “Do you think you deserve this?” he said, his tone harsh. “After everything you’ve done?”

“I’m not working with the Hesperians anymore. I can’t. After I was able to negotiate food for Nikara’s people, I ran. I did what Rin asked of me,” Nezha said. “I fulfilled her last wish. Now I just want to go.”

“I should send you back to the Hesperians in a parcel tied off with a bow.”

“You could,” Nezha admitted. “And you probably should, but you won’t. Because we’re the same.”

And they were. They were both looking after their people, doing what they could to keep them alive even if it meant they could never rest, and Chaghan was a shaman, too, though they’d gained their divine powers differently. They had both lost everything in the wars they’d fought. They’d both lost family, and they’d both lost the person they loved most. 

Or, at least, that’s what Nezha had always assumed. 

When Chaghan didn’t say anything, Nezha said, “Can I ask you something?”

Chaghan shrugged. “You’re already here. Might as well.”

Without hesitation, Nezha asked, “Did you love Altan?” and saw when Chaghan flinched at the name.

He’d never been sure of their relationship, but he’d always caught Chaghan looking at Altan like Nezha looked at Rin. It was longing mixed with dread. Admiration mixed with fear.

Chaghan had a far away look in his eyes. He was looking at something Nezha couldn’t see. Finally, he gave a small nod and said, “I loved him like you loved Rin.”

Nezha relaxed slightly. It felt good to know he wasn’t the only one who had loved someone who was doomed since the moment they came into the world. He and Chaghan had both known they would always lose Rin and Altan in the end, and yet they had loved them anyway because it had been easier than hating them.

“Sometimes I think I still see her,” Nezha said quietly, the deafening rain almost drowning out his words. “Or I think I hear her voice.”

“I know,” Chaghan said, like he truly _did_ know.

And he probably did. Nezha was haunted by Rin, and Chaghan was haunted by Altan. He was the only person alive who knew what Nezha was going through.

“I only ever really cared about my sister, Qara, and Altan. Now they’re both gone. And so is the Cike.” Chaghan looked down at his hands in his lap. “Now there’s nothing.”

Nezha didn’t need to tell Chaghan he understood. Rin and Kitay were the only people he’d ever cared about, and they were both gone. He’d driven a knife through their hearts like he’d driven one through his own.

Instead, Nezha said, “So you understand why I don’t want to be here anymore, don’t you?”

Chaghan nodded silently. 

“I need you to kill me.”

Chaghan looked at Nezha and shook his head. “I don’t know how. And even if I did know a way, I’m dying. I’m not as strong as I once was.” 

Nezha moved closer to Chaghan, sitting on his knees in front of the other boy. “ _Please_ ,” Nezha begged. “I did what I could for this country, but I’m _tired_. I’m so fucking tired. I helped my people, I helped Rin’s people. Now I just want to rest.” 

After a moment of silence, in which Chaghan stared at Nezha’s open face, his eyes searching for something, he sighed and said, “Okay. What do I need to do?” 

Nezha explained what needed to be done. After what had happened to him and Rin in the grotto, he’d been thinking about it every day since. He knew what Chaghan could do from the stories Rin would tell. If he could shock himself with one of the Hesperian gadgets at the right moment, when Chaghan entered his mind at the same time, he thought that Chaghan would be able to release the god while the tie between Nezha and the god was severed. Because of all the injuries he’d suffered, it was likely that cutting the tie would kill Nezha almost instantly. He should’ve died a long, long time ago.

Once Nezha was done explaining, Chaghan made a humming noise.

“That could work,” he said, pursing his lips as he thought it over. He looked at Nezha and his expression softened. “Are you sure about this?”

Nezha gave a final nod. Ever since he’d discovered he couldn’t die, he’d wanted nothing more than _to die_. Life wasn’t worth living if there wasn’t an eventual end. Life especially wasn’t worth living if you had to live it alone. Maybe he wouldn’t have chosen this path if Rin was still alive. Or Kitay. Or Venka. But they weren’t, so what did it matter? 

Chaghan pulled two poppy seeds from a bag while Nezha brought out the Hesperian gadget from his own bag, unwrapping it from the cloth he’d used to shield it from the rain. Chaghan handed one poppy seed to Nezha and kept the other for himself. 

Chaghan looked down at the seed. “This might kill me, too,” he said.

“You don’t have to-”

Chaghan shook his head. “I want to. I don’t have long anyway.” 

Chaghan moved into the center of the tent, and, together, they both swallowed the poppy seeds. 

Time seemed to slow down in those last moments. He did what Chaghan said and went to the Pantheon in his mind and saw everything that Rin had once seen. Everything felt warm and watery, like he was watching everything from a dream. He felt a sharp pain flare up his body and watched as Chaghan spoke words in a language Nezha didn’t know to a large dragon looming over him. He could only watch as the dragon roared in Chaghan’s face, but Chaghan merely ducked his head in Nezha’s direction, the expression on his face gentle.

Then the Pantheon was gone and everything was black. It had felt like the world had opened up beneath his feet and swallowed him. 

Nezha had always imagined dying. He’d wished for it every night that when it finally came he thought maybe he would feel different when it happened. Sad, maybe. Or frightened.

But all Nezha felt was peace.

“You can go now, Nezha,” a voice said. It was probably Chaghan, but in that moment, Nezha swore it was Rin speaking to him.

He closed his eyes. 

The rain outside the tent stopped falling. 

**Author's Note:**

> After I finished TBG, I wanted to know what happened to Nezha afterwards. Then I realized Chaghan is the only shaman Nezha knows who's still alive so I wrote this to heal my broken heart. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


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